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19: From Healing to Thriving after an abusive relationship with Shannelle Vogt

Today I am speaking with Shannelle Vogt. She is a former Miss Canada, a domestic violence survivor and by her absolute insistence also an overcomer meaning she no longer identifies as a victim of abuse. Shannelle has two beautiful children she is raising on her own, a supportive family and courage and strength way beyond her years. She shines with love for humanity, her children and herself and is so gentle and giving, you would never know she has been to hell and back all before she was 25.

Before we get into the questions and our conversation I feel it is so important to recognize and validate that abuse is not ever something that someone deserves or brings on themselves in any way. During a time when there is so much conversation around that we choose our experiences and we choose to stay or leave and we choose who is in our lives so we must take responsibility we can end up misunderstanding the dynamic of abuse and how clever the abusers are at controlling and manipulating their victims. The choice isn’t setting a boundary any more, it’s survival and that changes the whole game and our choices.

 

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

  • The manipulation happens gradually and deliberately so the abuser can gain the greatest amount of control.
  • Women (attempt to) leave abusive relationships 6-8 times before they are successful.
  • The trauma you are experiencing is not what happens to you, it’s what happens as a result of what happened to you. And this trauma leaves you scarred, fearful and resistant to change unless it’s healed in a safe environment.
  • Understanding the relationships we grew up around is an important part of understanding what kind of relationships we want.
  • It’s important to ask ourselves the right questions before getting into a long-term or serious relationship. The most important relationship is your relationships with yourself.
  • Shannelle shares the 5 things she did to help her dissolve the numbness and scarring from her trauma. They were: Openness, Receive, Accept, Feel & Respond.
  • The Healing from Abuse journey gets started on Jan. 26th. We are so excited to hold this healing space for you so you can release and grow. https://www.theseparationclub.com/course-portal
  • You are also invited to join our FREE MASTERCLASS on Jan. 17th where you can meet Shannelle and I live. I am pretty sure I said the 12th during the episode so please note that the 17th is correct. https://www.theseparationclub.com/masterclass

 

LINKS MENTIONED IN PODCAST